How to Navigate a Military Divorce

Whether you're on active duty, a veteran, or the spouse of a military member, you'll generally follow the same procedure to get a divorce as a civilian would. This includes dividing assets, negotiating spousal support, and determining child custody, if applicable, per your state's divorce laws. 

However, the length of your marriage and military career (or your spouse's) can impact the outcomes of your divorce. Before you take this step, let's review how the process works and the specific rules that might apply to your situation. 

What is the military divorce rate?

According to the 2022 Demographics Profile released by the Department of Defense (DOD)—its most recent report as of writing—the overall divorce rate for active-duty service members was 3% in 2022. Here's how it breaks down by service branch, not including the Coast Guard or Space Force: 

• Air Force: 3.1%
• Army: 3%
• Navy: 2.8%
• Marine Corps: 2.7%

From another perspective, nearly 20,000 active-duty service members went through a divorce in 2022. Whether because of frequent relocations, long deployments, or other unique stressors, military marriages inherently come with their own set of challenges. Still, divorce rates as a whole have declined, compared to 3.6% of active-duty members who divorced in 2010. 

Key factors in a military divorce

While military divorces share many similarities with civilian divorces, there are a few distinctions you should keep in mind. Still, be sure to research the specific laws of the state where you plan to file, as divorce procedures and requirements for military families can vary. 

Filing requirements 

Usually, spouses must meet their state's residency requirements, ranging from a few months to a year, to file for divorce. For military couples, on the other hand, states may: 

• Waive or reduce the usual residency period. 
• Allow them to file where the service member is stationed.
• Allow them to file in the service member's listed state of residence.

Additionally, the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) allows military members to postpone divorce proceedings if they're deployed or unable to attend because of their duties. Likewise, the SCRA may protect them from default judgments if they're unable to respond to divorce filings or appear in court. 

Asset division and retirement benefits 

Asset division typically follows the same state laws that apply to civilian divorces. For instance, a military couple filing for divorce in a community property state would still split all marital property equally. 

However, military retirement benefits have special considerations governed by federal law. The Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA) allows (but does not require) states to treat military retirement pay as marital property and divide it, though there are maximum limits. 

In addition, the marriage must satisfy the 10/10 rule, which means the couple was married for at least ten years, and the service member performed at least ten years of service. If so, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) pays the former spouse their share of retirement pay.

In cases where the 10/10 rule isn't met, the court may still order a division of retirement pay, but the service member would be responsible for making these payments instead of the DFAS. 

What is the military's 20/20/20 rule?

The 20/20/20 rule is another provision under the USFSPA that determines eligibility for certain military benefits after divorce. In order to qualify, the following conditions must be true: 

• The marriage lasted at least 20 years.
• The service member performed at least 20 years of creditable service towards retirement pay. 
• The marriage and the military service overlapped for at least 20 years.

If these conditions are met, the former spouse is eligible for TRICARE medical coverage. The spouse is also eligible for military privileges such as access to the Commissary & Exchange for tax-free groceries/retail goods and discounts on entertainment, among other benefits. Moreover, these perks continue for life unless the receiving spouse remarries. 

Alternatives to the 20/20/20 rule

For former spouses who don't meet the 20/20/20 rule, there's still a possibility of retaining health benefits under the 20/20/15 rule. This rule applies when: 

• The marriage lasted at least 20 years. 
• The service member performed at least 20 years of creditable service. 
• The marriage and service overlapped for at least 15 years (but less than 20). 

Under the 20/20/15 rule, the former spouse is entitled to TRICARE medical coverage for up to one year after the divorce, as the other privileges are only reserved for military divorces that meet the 20/20/20 rule. 

While all these rules primarily affect access to military benefits, they can indirectly influence other aspects of the divorce settlement, such as spousal support. For example, a spouse who doesn't qualify for continued medical coverage might seek higher alimony payments to cover private health insurance costs. 

Still, exact outcomes regarding spousal support depend on state laws and individual circumstances, so it's best to consult a divorce or family law attorney knowledgeable in military separations. 

A complete military divorce checklist

Although military divorces have a few differences and unique rules, they still follow the same general process as any other divorce. Here's how you can prepare: 

1. Gather documentation

First, you want to collect relevant documentation to help your lawyer and the court understand your situation. Here's what you should find: 

• Military records. Service member's Leave and Earnings Statement (LES), records of deployment and assignments, TRICARE arrangements, and promotion history
• Financial documents. Bank statements, credit card statements, investment account information, and retirement account statements, which includes Thrift Savings Plans
• Personal information. Marriage certificate, birth certificates, and Social Security numbers for all family members
• Property information. Mortgage documents, vehicle titles, list of valuable personal property 
• Legal documents. Any existing prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, as well as previous divorce decrees (if applicable) 

Even if you're unsure whether a document is relevant, it's better to include it. Your lawyer can help determine what's necessary for your case. 

2. Consider finances

As discussed, you'll need to address several financial aspects of divorce unique to military services. This includes determining how a Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), if applicable, will be handled. Service members will need to decide whether to keep their ex-spouse as the beneficiary, while spouses should be aware that their SBP coverage may change after the divorce. 

For child support and alimony calculations, it's important to provide detailed information about all income sources, including base pay, housing allowances, and special pay. Lastly, the rules we covered earlier—the 20/20/20, 20/20/15, and 10/10—impact your eligibility for continued benefits after divorce, so be sure to factor in these potential financial changes as well. 

3. Decide on healthcare

If you're no longer eligible for TRICARE medical benefits (or expect to lose coverage) following the divorce, you can research private health insurance plans or options offered by your state's health insurance marketplace. You also want to verify your children will retain health insurance coverage, whether through the military or a new plan, regardless of the divorce outcome.  

4. Determine housing arrangements

Military divorces often involve unique housing considerations, especially if one spouse has lived in on-base housing. If you're a nonmilitary spouse, you'll typically be required to vacate within 30 days of the finalization of the divorce. 

For those living off-base in private housing, the situation may be more similar to civilian divorces. You'll need to decide who will remain in the current residence, if anyone, and how to handle any joint mortgages or lease agreements. 

5. Arrange for child custody

If you have children, consider the following points to make a child custody plan: 

• The possibility of deployments or relocations and how they will affect custody and visitation
• How to maintain communication between the child and the noncustodial parent during separations
• Arrangements for temporary custody during deployments
• Plans for school breaks and holidays, considering potential travel restrictions or duty obligations

Make sure to include provisions for how major life decisions will be made regarding education, healthcare, and other important parts of your children's lives and development. If international relocation is a possibility, you'll also want to address travel arrangements and how you'll handle potential issues. 

6. Talk to a military divorce lawyer

While it's possible to handle a divorce without a lawyer, the complexities of military separations make professional guidance particularly valuable. A lawyer experienced in military divorces can help you prepare and handle all aspects of the process, so look for someone familiar with: 

• The USFSPA, SCRA, and other relevant federal laws
• Military pension division rules
• State-specific laws and how they interact with federal military regulations
• Handling international custody issues that may arise from overseas deployments 
• Experience with military-specific documentation and court procedures 

When you meet with potential lawyers, ask questions about their track record with military divorces, their understanding of military life and culture, and how they might approach your separation. A good military divorce lawyer should be able to explain the process in a way you understand and be prepared to work with your military schedule, including potential deployments or relocations. 

How much does a military divorce cost?

A military divorce costs anywhere from a few hundred dollars to $10,000 or more—it all depends on your circumstances and relationship with your spouse. Factors that can influence the cost of your divorce include the following: 

• The complexity of military benefit division (pensions, SBP, etc.) 
• Geographic location, especially if one spouse is deployed or stationed elsewhere
• Whether the divorce is contested or uncontested
• Need for specialized expertise in military divorces 
• Court fees, which vary by state 

If you haven't already, you can research legal assistance services through your military installation. While these services can't represent you in court, they can still offer advice and help with paperwork.

Similarly, we can walk you through the uncontested divorce process in all 50 states. An uncontested divorce tends to be the fastest and least expensive way to separate, though it's only suitable for spouses who can resolve all major disputes independently, military-related or not.  

To learn more, answer a few questions about your situation, and we'll partner you with a local attorney who can assist with your military divorce—all for a predictable, flat rate. 

FAQs

What is a military spouse entitled to in a separation?

A military spouse may be entitled to continued military benefits (including healthcare), retirement pay, and spousal support payments, depending on the service member's military career and the couple's circumstances. Moreover, the length of the marriage and need for child support can affect specific entitlements. 

How long does a military divorce take?

Generally, a military divorce takes 3 to 12 months or more, similar to civilian divorces. Factors like deployment, overseas assignments, or disagreements over divorce terms can extend this timeline. Uncontested divorces usually proceed faster, while complex cases involving custody disputes or significant assets may take longer to resolve. 

What happens if you get back together after a military divorce? 

If you get back together after a military divorce, you'll need to remarry to reinstate military benefits for the former spouse. You may also need to update beneficiary designations, re-enroll in programs like the Survivor Benefit Plan, and inform the military of your updated marital status.