Can I Make My Ex Change Their Last Name After Divorce?

After a divorce, you cannot legally force your ex-spouse to change back to their maiden name. They have a right to keep whatever name change they chose in marriage, whether that's your last name or a hyphenated last name. Though this may be frustrating, understanding why your spouse wants to keep the name might help you move on from the disagreement. Additionally, discussing what name you'll both continue to use after your marriage is over during the divorce proceedings can be mutually beneficial.

Reasons for keeping the same last name

Though your marriage has ended, your ex-spouse may have many reasons to keep the same last name. Reviewing these reasons may help you accept their decision. First, if you have children under that name, they may want to keep the name for consistency and continuity. Depending on the length of the marriage, they may identify more with your last name than a maiden name that hasn't been used in years.

If your ex has created a professional reputation with the last name, they could be hesitant to change it. Finally, they may not want to deal with the hassle of changing the name again. After all, they're the one who will have to wait in lines at the Department of Motor Vehicles and the Social Security Administration.

There are no legal actions you can take to make your ex-spouse change their name. However, there are ways that the two of you might come to an agreement or, at least, an understanding.

Ways to negotiate

You can attempt to negotiate with your ex-spouse to change their last name, although they're under no legal obligation to do so. It's best to consult before your divorce is final. After your divorce is final, although you could petition to modify your divorce decree for a name change, you're in a weaker negotiating position.

You could also suggest that they get a hyphenated last name, with your name and their maiden name. Although this may not serve as the clean break you desire, your spouse could still share a name with your children. This could potentially satisfy some of your ex's concerns as well as yours.

Divorce documents

If you do negotiate a name change with your spouse, be sure to include this change in your divorce decree. This ensures that the name change the two of you agree to occurs once your divorce is final.

Although your divorce decree will legally change your ex's last name, they must then change it on their driver's license, with the Social Security Administration, with any financial institutions, and with your children's school, if applicable.

Remember, you can't force your ex-spouse to change their name. If negotiation during the divorce doesn't work, then you'll need to accept the fact that your ex will continue with your name. Depending on how contentious your divorce is, a name change might not be as critical as the division of property or child support. Accepting your spouse's decision to keep your name may be a conciliation worth making if it eases other disagreements.