What Happens After You Serve Your Spouse Divorce Papers?

Understanding the ins and outs of the divorce process and what steps to take can help facilitate a smooth and successful divorce.

Immediate next steps after serving divorce papers

Because you cannot personally serve your divorce papers to your spouse, we recommend hiring a process server for divorce to oversee the process. A professional process server you hire will understand the rules around serving divorce papers and ensure compliance. They can serve the papers in person, or if your spouse lives out of state, they can mail the papers by certified mail with the return receipt requested.

After they've delivered the paperwork, your process server will submit a proof of service form to the courts to prove they delivered it to your spouse.

Now, let's move on to what happens once your spouse has received those initial divorce papers.

First, your spouse is formally put on notice that you filed a petition (sometimes referred to as a complaint) asking that the court dissolve your marriage. The petition may include the proposed distribution of assets and debts, custody of the children, child support, and alimony obligations.​

Second, once your spouse is served, this starts a clock in family law court. In every state, there is a limit to the amount of time they have to file an answer to the divorce petition. The number of days your spouse has varies from state to state. For example, in California, they have 30 days to respond. Regardless, in every state, the countdown begins the day they are served with divorce papers.

Possible responses from the served spouse

Just as the law requires you to legally serve your spouse with divorce papers, your spouse must legally serve you with their answer within 21 days of receiving the papers. They have three possible responses: agree, contest, or no response.

If your spouse decides to agree or contest, they must file their answer and make certain it is served under compliance with the law. They'll also have to pay a filing fee; if they can't afford it, they can talk to the clerk about proceeding in forma pauperis to acquire fee waiver forms. This allows them continue without having to pay the filing fee, based on their indigent status.

Agreement

If both you and your spouse are in agreement, you can proceed with an uncontested divorce. Here, you let the court know about your plan for divorce, from property and debt division to child custody and support, as well as alimony, where applicable. In this case, your spouse can simply sign the divorce papers and may not need to file a response form with the courts.

Barring any legal issues with your agreement, the court will then sign off on your agreement, often without requiring you or your spouse to appear in court.

Contestation

Now, if your spouse doesn't agree with what you've proposed in the divorce papers, they can contest. To do so, they must complete a form and file it with the courts.

Some states allow for grounds for divorce, such as adultery, abandonment, and emotional or physical cruelty. On the response form, your spouse can respond to and/or allege grounds of their own. Their response could also propose a different allocation of assets and debts, or address issues like child support, alimony, and child custody.

If your spouse contests, you'll move on to the next steps in a contested divorce, which involves getting a judge to decide on your divorce terms.

No response

Your spouse can ignore the filing, in which case, your divorce will proceed by default. This means the court will likely grant whatever request you make regarding the division of property and debt, child custody, child support, and alimony.

As discussed, there is a deadline for filing an answer to a divorce petition or complaint. If your spouse misses the deadline, they put themselves at a disadvantage. However, it is still possible for them to participate in the divorce proceedings. They can contact the court clerk and request an extension.

Divorce procedures following the response

Let's recap. If your spouse agrees with the paperwork, you can enter an uncontested divorce and avoid court proceedings, but if your spouse ignores or fails to respond, you can move forward with a default divorce without their participation. Now, if your spouse contests the terms outlined in the paperwork, you'll continue with a contested divorce, usually involving mediation and court intervention.

If you're entering a contested divorce, you'll go through the following steps to legally terminate your marriage.

Discovery phase

During the discovery phase, you and your spouse will gather and exchange information to either support your cases in court or help you come to an agreement on your own.

This involves sharing financial documents associated with your income, assets, and debts, such as bank statements, property deeds, and tax returns, which can help determine property division and alimony decisions.

Negotiation and settlement

The next phase focuses on negotiations. The goal is to settle outside of court, so you can avoid legal fees and lengthy court proceedings.

If you and your spouse are having trouble agreeing to the terms, you can attend mediation sessions, where a neutral third party will help you compromise and come to a mutually acceptable agreement on conditions like child and spousal support.

However, meditation is not always successful. If you and your spouse still can't agree on the terms of your divorce, you'll need to go to trial.

Court hearings

Court hearings are necessary if you and your spouse are still disagreeing. For example, maybe your spouse doesn't agree with your spousal support conditions, or you think your spouse is being dishonest about their financial situation. In these scenarios, you'll need to move forward with a trial so that the judge can listen to the testimonies, review the evidence, and decide on the disputed issues for you.

Drafting and approving the divorce decree

When the judge has made a final decision, they will sign a divorce decree, which is a legally binding court order, outlining the terms of your settlement.

Once you receive this signed document, you and your spouse are officially divorced.

Can my spouse refuse to accept the divorce papers?

Yes, your spouse can ignore or refuse to accept the divorce papers, but that won't stop the court from proceeding with the divorce case.

If your spouse avoids service of process, you could consider alternate service methods, such as service by publication or substituted service. Service by publication involves posting a divorce notice in your local newspaper, while substituted service refers to leaving the paperwork with a responsible adult at your spouse's work or home.

If your spouse still fails to acknowledge or respond to the papers, you can ask the courts for a default divorce. If the judge approves your request, they will move your case forward without your spouse's participation. The court will usually rule in your favor and agree to the terms you've set forth.

FAQs 

How long after filing for divorce is the spouse served?

Once you've filed the paperwork with the courts, your process of server will have 60 days to serve the papers. If you cannot file within this timeframe, like in cases where you cannot find your spouse, you can request more time from the courts.

How are divorce papers served?

You can't personally serve divorce papers, so a third party must deliver them for you. You can hire a process server or ask the sheriff's office to deliver them for you.

The other option is to send your spouse divorce papers via certified mail through the post office. Papers mailed should include a Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt that your spouse will sign and send back, ensuring they've received the paperwork.

What is proof of service, and why is it important?

Proof of service is basically a receipt that confirms your spouse was legally served papers. You should have your process server complete the proof of service form and file it with the courts.

Acquiring proof of service is important because it shows the courts that you've followed procedures and successfully delivered the paperwork.

Can I withdraw the divorce after serving papers?

The process may vary from state to state, but you can usually withdraw a divorce, even after serving papers. If your spouse has not responded yet, you can request a voluntary dismissal from the courts. However, if they've already responded, you may still be able to request voluntary dismissal with your spouse's approval, known as a stipulation for dismissal. That said, it's ultimately up to the judge and whether they decide to grant your request.

Should I consider divorce or legal separation?

Sometimes, a couple will decide to legally separate before filing for divorce. A legal separation allows you to maintain certain privileges as a couple, such as jointly filing for taxes and sharing the same insurance coverage, that you would otherwise lose during a divorce. Many couples decide to legally separate as a trial period before moving forward with divorce.